Unfettered
by Alan Spencer
Summary: Kotomine Kirei has been stabbed in the back by his own Servant, Cú Chulainn, and now he is dying. What remained of the energy that had kept him alive for a decade was the only reason he wasn't death already, but even that couldn't last indefinitely. But still, his goal was within his reach, so he couldn't not allow anybody to get in his way, even in the state he was now in.


**Unfettered**

A surge of pain. Kotomine Kirei gasped, feeling blood welling up in his throat and looked down, his vision swaying. A red lance had gone cleanly through his back, his heart and gone through to the other side. With shaking hands, he grasped the spear, coating his hands with blood. He wasn't really thinking anymore. The pain and the surprise had superseded that. He spat out blood.

Lancer's spear; it was Lancer's spear. Which means the Servant had survived being stabbed in the heart with his own lance. He had know about Lancer's excellent Battle Continuation skill, that was the very reason he had ordered Lancer to stab himself in the heart, but he had never expected something like this. What a joke. All his careful planning ruined because he had underestimated his own Servant, in more ways that one. It was so funny he could laugh, but he didn't have the streght for that anymore. Gae Bolg could deeply affect even somebody like him, who was only alive because of having been granted a cursed heart by chance. With his lips covered in blood, he turned towards the Servant.

"Lancer, you..."

"Too bad, Kotomine. I wouldn't be a hero if I instantly died from a wound like this." Lancer was mocking him, like it was nothing. He should have been angry, but he didn't care. Anyone could tell that his bravado was nothing but a bluff. Even though he could still somehow kept himself on his feet, his own cursed lance had tore out his heart. It was only a matter of time before the Servant disappeared, all the more so because the contract between them didn't exist any longer. It was a small consolation, but there it was. At least he would take Lancer down with him, even though he hadn't be able to accomplish what he wanted.

He fell down on the ground, without making a noise. A few moments later, he heard Lancer fall down on the wall and slump down, complaining about his end. The man-child he had intended to use for his plans burst out in a fit of delighted, crazy laughter because the events had turned in his favor and then kicked what he thought was Kirei's corpse. He didn't care. Matou Shinji was nothing but a fool whose death was already guaranteed; he could laugh and gloat how much he wanted, for all that would matter. Gilgamesh would use him as the Grail's Vessel, and soon he would wish he had died here with them. The thought, even in this state, brought a smile to his lips. He wished he would be there to see how a normal person handled being transformed into the Grail, the immense pain he would be under. Yes, it would have been a sight to see.

Things progressed, and he soon found himself tuning out the events. What came to his mind where distant memories, things he had thought were buried. A simple story, far out of the past. Perhaps the most important moments of all his life, which suddenly seemed so short now. Claudia Ortensia. He had tried to change his corrupted nature by repenting and hastening, then looked in the body for what he couldn't find in his mind. But neither punishments changed him. And in the end, his final attempt had been her. A woman to love, the pleasures of the flesh, an eventual family and a daughter to take care of, maybe. The by the book definition of happiness, according to society. Not even she had managed to help him, though she understood him more that anybody could and shared his anger for his problems, and in the end she had took her own life to prove he was human.

He had cried, then.

He had cried because he didn't get the chance to kill her himself.

Kirei didn't know why he was remembering this now, of all times. The past was the past and, besides, nothing could be changed at this point. Maybe this is what it meant for his life to flash before his eyes. He had love that woman, really. She was the only person he had ever loved. But the facts were what they were. His love didn't meant anything. His soul was defective from birth, and her body was defective, too. Nothing could gave grown from that. He knew that, even back then. And he had long since knew his end would be like this, alone, bleeding off, burning with bitterness and self hatred.

Kirei heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

"Stop it, kid." Lancer's voice. He was still alive, even now. "You're not worthy to touch that woman."

It was really funny, but at the same time it was infuriating. Lancer's state reminded him of his limitations. Even though he had gained abilities which could be called superhuman, he was here dying on the ground without being capable of doing anything while Lancer still stood. The Servant was surely weak, not even a shadow of his former shelf, and he would vanish soon, but he stood. He still had the power to stand. The priest's hands clenched into fists.

"What? You're going to object me when you're almost dead?" Matou Shinji drawls out, unaware of his situation. "You would've died in peace if you'd kept quiet. Fine, I won't kill you so easily. Come on, Gilgamesh. He wants to die in style!"

Nothing happened, of course. Even Kirei, who Gilgamesh respected, couldn't order him. The most he could was make requests to the king. So obviously the King Of Heroes wouldn't obey somebody like him. The Matou boy would have realized it, too, if he only thought about it. Unfortunately for him, it was clear he didn't think even half of the time.

"Hey. Damn, what's he doing!? Can't you hear me!? I'm telling you to come here!" oh. Judging from his tone, even an idiot like him was starting to realize the truth. "Damn, damndamndamn! What's with you!? Why are you trying to be cool when you're almost dead!? Die already! Don't you know you're just in my way, you mon..."

His words are cut off by the sound of pierced flesh, and the screams that followed.

"Get lost." Lancer said. "I might be almost dead, but I still could kill even a thousand like you."

And then he heard Matou running out of the room, without making a noise.

"Man," the Servant continued. "He made me waste energy."

Footsteps. Then, the sound of something being cut. Rin's restrains, obviously.

"Thanks. You really helped me out, Lancer."

"Heh. Well, it just turned out this way. You don't need to thank me." the sound of something hitting the ground. Without a doubt, that was Lancer's body. Even what streght he had been able to muster had failed him.

"Lancer?!" Rin screams. "Hold on, I'll heal your wound right away."

How stupid. Despite being a magus, that girl was really naive. Still saying something like that, when she clearly knew she couldn't help it. Honor before reason, like her father.

"It's useless. A heart pierced by my lance won't heal easily. And besides, you don't have magical energy to spare."

"B-but..."

"Don't worry about it. I'm used to this kind of thing. Heroes always die because of unreasonable orders." he says, then sighs. "Man. I guess we both ended up with boring partners."

"Yeah, but he was just hard to handle in my case."

"You're right. I would've had no complaints if a woman like you were my partner- but I never had luck with women. Man, this never changes." he laughs. "Well, get going. I'll take him with me. You go back to your partner."

Kirei froze at his words. He knew. Somehow, the Servant knew he was still alive. And... that's right. He was still alive. As long as he was still alive, something could be done. Even if he had to drag himself forward and fight off dead every step of the way, his goal was still within reach. The birth of Angra Manyu, the answer hidden within. He couldn't never live long enough to see what he wanted to see, but he had lived his whole life wanting an answer. He couldn't turn his back on that now, in his last moments.

"Goodbye, Lancer." he heard Rin say. "I only knew you for a short while, but I also like you."

"Whatever, girl. Come back when you're older." Lancer said to himself. Rin had already run off the run, and besides, his voice was so weak now that Rin might not have heard him even if she hadn't run off already.

The Servant's words served as the signal. Putting oxygen into his lungs, he forced his wounded body to get out. His breathing was short, uneven and his legs trembled, but he managed to stand up anyway. He looked at Lancer, sitting in the ground, having put the cursed lance down to draw another rune. Upon seeing him, his smile turned weary.

"Eh. You're one though bastard, Kotomine. Like a damn cockroach. But it's already too late."

Kirei merrily smiled in response. He amasses his streght, and jumps towards, covering his head with his hands. It breaks, and he gets away an instant before everything would end. He heard the room erupt in flames behind as he went down, down. He hit the ground, fell down, rolled and somehow came to his feet. He put one hand against the wall to support himself, thinking about what what's going to happen considering the situation, and how he could use that to get what he wanted.

He couldn't depend on Gilgamesh's help. If he did so, the Servant would surely kill him since he couldn't no longer be entertaining, like had promised him years ago, after he had back stabbed Tokiomi Tohsaka in all senses of the word. Matou Shinji was still alive, so he would probably be used as the vessel from the Grail. Rin would have been a better vessel, but he doubted that she would get caught again. Not because of Saber, or her ability. No, simply because he knew Gilgamesh well, and he would rather left them escape rather that continue on fighting and dirtying himself with the ashed of the burning mansion.

He took a deep breath, and started walking forward.

The distance was long, but he could do this.

* * *

Kirei reached the temple without being seen, nor faltering even once, somehow. He hid himself between the trees, and waited. They surely would wait until the night to face Gilgamesh, and Assassin, who still guarded the temple. He had to last that long. A few hours. It was only a few hours, but it seemed almost like an eternity. With an effort, he gathered together the shards of his consciousness, and waited.

Waited for his moment.

* * *

Somehow, he managed to kept a hold of himself. Every time he seemed he was about to lose everything, he dug into his memories and thought about Claudia, about Kiritsugu and about the dream he had pursued for so long and that was now within his reach. He watched Rin, Shirou and the Servant Saber enter the Ryudou Temple. The fake Assassin got in Saber's way, and Rin and Saber went deeper, to the lake behind the temple, where Gilgamesh would be. Hiding between the tress, he only caught glimpses of Emiya Shirou and Rin as they entered the temple and as for Saber's encounter with Assassin, he only heard it.

None of it matter. He would observe the outcome. If Gilgamesh was victorious, there was no need for him to do anything but stay alive and watch the end of the world. If Saber somehow managed to defeat him, he could always step in at the right moment.

But who come out are Gilgamesh and Shirou, and they faced each other. Calling in a fight would be too generous, but it's true that the boy manages to stay alive against the King Of Heroes, even though each time he uses projection to replicate and repel the rain of swords from the Gate of Babylon damaged his body. He didn't stay to watch. The boy would die here, but once Saber got rid of Assassin, the Grail would be destroyed. He had to get to rid before Saber got to the back of the temple, if he wanted to reach his goal.

He reached it without anybody noticing, not even Gilgamesh. They were too ocuppied with their fight to notice anything else. Rin was advancing through the lake when he got there, cursing and trying to fight off the curse to keep on advancing. That idiot. She was going to try to rescue Matou Shinji, merely because that boy had told her. She really didn't change.

Kirei took a step forward, putting his feet in the mud. The curses wouldn't do anything to him, since what kept him alive whats what energy remained from his cursed heart after Gae Bolg tore it apart. He dragged himself through the mud without being brother ed by anybody. It took Rin a while to heard him come. She whirled her head back, and looked at him. Her teeth chattered. Her expression was priceless.

"You!"

"Yes," he said, his smile widening. ", me."

Then he ran. He only had enough power left in his legs for one last sprint, so he had to make sure it counted. He reached Rin before she could react, crouched down by her left side and slammed his fist against her stomach. The impact knocked her out of cold. He hauled her body over his shoulder, and turned back. He got out of the mud with only a slight discomfort, set Rin down on the ground and put one hand on her throat. Then he waited.

Saber came a few minutes later, like he had expected. She was calling for Rin, but she cut herself off when she saw him. Her expression hardened, and her hands tightened around the shaft of the golden sword Excalibur. She looked like was seriously considering forgetting about Rin and just cutting in down, for a moment.

"Kotomine Kirei." Saber spat out. She didn't ask how he was alive not only because she didn't have the time for it, but because she knew he wasn't. He was a brief fire, the last spark of a life that was already falling. It was miracle he was lasting this long.

"It doesn't even need to be said that I'm not match for you, but if you take even one more step forward, I will snap her neck. No matter how fast you're, you couldn't possibly prevent that. All it takes is an instant. So, I advise you think about what you're gonna do carefully."

"You're not getting away with this, Kotomine. Shirou will defeat Gilgamesh soon, and you will be left without more support. And even if you manage to hide yourself behind Rin, you have no way to accomplish your objectives."

"Maybe." he chuckled. "But how can I give out at this point? You should understand that, too, King Arthur."

"Don't compare me to you."

"But you're similar to me, right? Selfishly chasing after something out of your reach, without a care for other people. That, at least, is true."

"I wish for the happiness of other people, while you only delight in their suffering. Don't you dare compare me to you."

"Happiness? So were all the people you sacrificed for the sake of your kingdom happy about it? Were they smiling when they died? Oh, don't delude yourself, King Arthur."

"It wasn't..." she winced, and took a step back. "It wasn't like that. Their sacrifice was necessary. If..."

"You can kept telling yourself whatever you want, but the facts remain what they are. You sacrificed then without second thoughts for the sake of the kingdom, just like I've sacrificed many people for what I seek. But don't dwell on your contradictions. Is only natural for you, since you're a human being."

The Servant in front of him gritted her teeth, but didn't say anything.

A sound. He didn't have time to identify it, but he rolled back, still holding Rin. It was useless. That something hit him in his right shoulder, and he went tumbling down to the ground, taking Rin's unconscious body with him. He gritted his teeth, trying to kept a hold on his consciousness. He could see it clearly, from the corners of his eyes. The swords digging deep into his shoulder was one of Archer's swords. Damn. He had thought Gilgamesh would have finished him off, but now, it hadn't happened. Once more he was about to be fucked up because he had underestimated the tenaciousness of an enemy. How funny.

"Saber!" Archer screams. "Do it!"

Kirei looked. Saber took a step forward, and lifts her Noble Phantasm over her head. It started shining so brightly that it hurt his eyes to look directly at it, but he still couldn't rip his eyes away from the sword. The Sword Of Promised Victory, the embodiment of mankind's hope. He had said those words to her just to rile her up; he truly believed them. But it was only the wielder that was stained, not the sword itself. It was shining with a purity he had never reached and he couldn't never reach. It almost seemed like a mockery.

"Ex...!" then, as she swung the sword down: "Caliburn!"

Its true name was cast, and the Noble Phantasm blinded them all with bright golden light. When the light vanished, there was no trace of the mountain of meat that had been all that remained of Matou Shinji. The Grail had been destroyed again, by the same sword. The Greater Grail still remained, but he had not chances of using as things were now and, besides, he would soon be killed anyway. His hands clench into fist, but he doesn't move. It was over.

With the Grail destroyed, as far as she knew, the Servant of the Sword went to her Master's side and knelled beside. She grabbed her shoulders, and shook her. Kirei looked around for Archer, but was already gone. He couldn't even felt his presence. It was not hard to see why. Now that the Servant had a change of heart, he was going to help Emiya Shirou. He looked back at the two girls. Rin slowly opened her eyes.

"Saber?" she replied, hesitantly, only half-awake. She snapped into focus only an instant later. "Where's..."

"The priest as already has already been dealt with, don't worry." Saber curtly answered. Rin sat up, fixed her gaze on him for a few moments, then huffed beneath her breath.

"Fine. He's dead already, so it's not like it matters." she sat up. "Let's go, Saber."

Saber eyed warily for an instant, but conceded and followed Rin without question. He watched them go until they disappeared from his view.

So this was it. One of the best Executor's of the Church, who had nearly won the Fourth and the Fifth Holy Grail war, would here, like this, besides the remains of the curse who had extend his life, with his dreams shattered and nothing waiting for him but a slow, painful death down in the ground. No. No fucking way. If he was going to go down, he at least would go down fighting. He forced himself to his feet, and dragged his dying body towards them, to beyond the temple. He somehow manages to do it without dying, and in that time at that.

There's only the boy, the red knight and Tohsaka Rin. Emiya Shirou is the first one to notice him. He gasps.

"Kotomine!" he screamed, his face set in a snarl. That put the attention of the other two people at the top of the hill away from each other. Grimacing, Rin took a step forward. Archer's placid expression didn't change at all.

"Fine. If you insist on being a nuisance, I finish you off here." she said, with a hand on the pockets of her skirt, no doubt ready to throw a few jewels at him to make sure he died. He didn't care. His gaze was fixed only on Shirou. The priest took a step forward.

"Leave them, Rin." Archer said. "This is something that needs to happen. Besides, the priest is a good as dead already. There's no point in getting worked up about it."

Kirei didn't care for his words, either. The only thing coming and going through his pain handled mind were distant memories, the answer he sought and the results he had obtained-all the bitterness at self hatred. The things he had believed in and the thing he now believed in. He sought and sought for salvation for all his life, and the only way of life he found was that making other people suffer made him happy. He is and was wrong. A contradiction, defective from birth. Emiya Shirou started walking towards him.

"Let's finish this, Kotomine." he said.

"I finally realize," Kirei said, looking down with clenched hands, like he hadn't heard him. ", that I envied you people. What I sought, but couldn't not obtain. What I obtained, but couldn't not obtain. Many things slipped up between my fingers, no matter what commandment I used. What ordinary people called happiness... didn't bring me any joy." he sucked in a breath. "I'm gonna release my pent up emotions here."

And with that, he _ran_. Even in his current state, his speed was far beyond the boy. He tried to punch him when he was already close enough to kill him, but he easily avoided the attack by ducking low and slammed his fist against the boy's stomach. He winced in pain, but reacted instantly and kicked him in the head. The attack connected, but it didn't have enough streght behind it to knock him out or even slow him down. Kirei shot to his feet, and slammed his palm against him, driving him back.

Shirou roared like an animal, and punched at him. This attack did sent him reeling back. Eh. He started punching at him with all his streght behind every blow, without thinking of what came next. For every blow that hit the boy, he himself was once. He didn't care. He stood firm against the attacks, and continued his onslaught. Perhaps it could be said this clumsy, meaningless fight was like their minds, so similar and yet always repelling each other.

The boy was good. He could fight even in the state he was in, so he was better that the majority of people. But not good enough. Perhaps in ten years, or even five, but not right here. He continued attacking him, and managed to defend his head, too. If even one of his blow had landed in his head, it would have been crushed. Both knew that. So the boy concentrated in protecting his head just as much as on attacking. Still. If the priest stopped attacking half-heartily, there wouldn't be nothing the boy could do to avoid his head being crushed. At least, not while still attacking.

But it wasn't necessary. His enemy was on the verge of death already, like himself. And he wasn't fighting to win against Emiya Shirou. No, that would be useless now, when his answer was already out of his reach. He only wanted to release his pent up emotions, like he had said, and the boy made a good punching back. That irritating boy who was as empty as him, and yet had found an answer when one had been denied to him, and had people who understood in spite that he was broken and couldn't possibly be fixed. He envied people, but he envied Emiya Shirou most of all.

Without realizing it, Kirei's attacks started to grow fiercer. In a minute, he broke several of the boy's bones and drove him down into the ground.

"Shirou!" Rin screamed.

Neither of them put any attention to her terrified scream. He swung his fist down to crush the boy's heads at end this farce once at for all. The boy screamed again, and rolled up the way. His fists hit his shoulder, and it broke under the impact, but he got away. The priest turned around, to pursue him, and prepared to run.

He stopped.

All movement stopped.

The remaining cursed energy that was keeping him alive had finally ran his course.

"So this is it." he muttered to himself, and then laughed, laughed, laughed. "Very well. I knew. I knew from the beginning that my struggles wouldn't amount to anything. There was no answer from the start."

"Kotomine." Shirou said, a strange expression on his face. "You..."

"You're the last Master." Kirei said, cutting him off. He hadn't no time to heard whatever the boy would say, and he didn't care about it, either. "The winner of the Fifth Holy Grail War."

"The grail is already..."

"Oh, you think so? Poor idiot. Saber used Excalibur on the Grail back in the Fourth War, and it wasn't destroyed. Why it should be different now?" Kirei said. At that, Shirou's eyes narrowed. "It's a shame. If Illyasviel had been alive, you would have know the whole truth. But its far too late for that."

"The whole truth? What do you meant by that?"

"Oh, you idiot." Kirei said, and chuckled. "Do you think I'm going to tell you?"

And with that, he closed his eyes. Kirei Kotomine finally died right there, still standing. It was death overdue by ten years already, and it could be said that it granted him the peace he sought.


End file.
